The telephone has been around for more than a century and
for a very brief period of time, and we do mean very brief, the world’s first
telephone system was virtually flawless; all two telephones. The addition of
the third telephone created a new and unforeseen problem which mankind has been
struggling to deal with, cope with and overcome ever since: the busy signal. During these last few years, however, many new and improved technologies in the much talked about telephone telecommunications field have provided all of us with numerous, wonderful, efficient, easy and simple to understand means and methods to make telephone communications between individuals easier than it ever has been before. Don’t take our word for it though. Pick up your telephone and call someone today.
Welcome and thank you for reading
along this far at least. If you truly believe the foregoing preamble then you
really do not require this latest self-improvement text to assist you to fathom
and negotiate your way through the complexities and intricacies of the world’s
voicemail systems. Instead, we suggest that you waste your valuable time,
effort, resources and money on one of the other useful causes that have been
dreamed up and inflicted upon the world in the name of making it a better,
safer place to live and work in unfettered harmony and teamwork. Try either ISO
9000 or running for government.
Believe it or not there really are
many types of voicemail systems lurking out there in cyberspace just waiting to
trip-up poor unsuspecting victims, (these are the good points) but trust us,
all voicemail systems more or less function in the same manner, meaning: the
more functions available, the less comprehensible to use and the greater the
chance of ending up in the general voicemail box. Where else does more become
less and less becomes greater? Overcoming this hurdle is nothing more than
simply a matter of understanding a few of the paradigms and principals, i.e.
understanding the basics.
One possible reason for the development of voicemail
systems is that no one answers the telephone or knows how to answer the
telephone but in truth, we believe that no one in their right mind really wants
to answer the telephone.
One possible reason for the development of voicemail
systems is that no one answers the telephone or knows how to answer the
telephone but in truth, we believe that no one in their right mind really wants
to answer the telephone.
The second possible explanation for the unchecked
proliferation of voicemail systems could be the result of chronic
over-downsizing in business which has reduced many effective workforces to
almost zero, meaning: mostly managers remain who are over-managing the few who
actually know how to do the work that truly needs to be done. (And you thought
the answer to this mystery would be difficult to grasp, didn’t you.) No. You
really do not have to be an Einstein to grasp the fundamentals of this tome.
Have you ever seen a genuine photograph of Einstein holding a telephone? He
wasn’t a genius for nothing.
Both these simple, sound, logical probable explanations,
however, would be, well, too logical and too simple. (They would also negate
the need and purpose for the writing of this text.) Besides, at one time or
another we have all been misguided, blatantly misinformed and told that simple
answers can never be simple, simply because they would be too simple. Right?
Wrong! This concept is nothing more than a myth (where
are the myth busters when you need them) perpetuated by fussy form fillers and
prickly pencil pushers who have been inexplicably placed in charge of running
and managing dysfunctional organizations merely because they have not learned
to grasp the intricate complexities of simplicity in its simplest forms. Doesn’t
this also sound like government? Why do you think that turfed-out government
types end up as directors on the boards of corporations? Sorry, we are off the
subject now.
The bottom line is that normal people like things to be
simple because simple is easy to correctly and properly understand.
Anyway, this short-form of “Voice Mail for Dummies” will
answer the “Why” questions in the previous possible possibilities, explain to
you the fine art of modern telephone technology and shockingly reveal to you
why voicemail works the way it does, or does not work the way it should, or
should not work the way it does and should never be an acceptable way of just
not working.
We all know that in every organization there are too many
trying to avoid productive work by creating even more useless work which they
somehow manage to foist upon the too few who are already overworked by the
meaningless work and redundant tasks they already have to do. How else can we
better describe for you what a head office is and what it does? Hence we have
the origin of voice mail. Regardless, voice mail is something you did not ask
for, probably do not need, and really do not want. But you got it, you deal
with it, you put up with it, you’re stuck with it, you will try to make the
best of it and loathe it nonetheless. What wasted suffering! We’ll teach you
how to fight back and win, or at the very least, help you think you are
winning.
We don’t have a 1-800 number with operators standing by
and we won’t ask for your credit card number. As an added bonus, we won’t even
ask for your telephone number. We don’t want it either. In fact, we don’t even
have a telephone. We learned something.
Have fun! Of course, good luck. We think you will need
it.
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Now a word from
our sponsor…an un-named head office somewhere.
We’re bullish on bull and we should know! After all, it’s
our specialty, our area of expertise, our raison d’etre and, if for no other
reason, because we’re good at it and mass produce it.
Our motto is: What a lot of…
You guessed it!
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The Oddblock
Station Agent
